The Break Down

***Update at bottom***

Hello! I hope every one's Thanksgiving was a good one and you didn't wind up like me. Sick.

We had Thanksgiving dinner at my brothers house with his wife's family on Thursday, then Thanksgiving brunch at my parents house on Friday with my uncle, my cousin and his family, then Thanksgiving dinner at Tim's parents Saturday night with his sister and her boyfriend. That's a lot of food! (FYI: I was one of those morons out shopping before dawn. My SIL's SIL and I split the shopping and it worked out spectacularly)

When I think back at it I think I started to feel bad Wednesday night. Tim and I sat down to watch some TV and I couldn't stay awake to watch Bones at 7p. I kept nodding off. By Saturday night I was feeling pretty tired and knew a cold HAD to be looming over my head, or so I thought. I woke bright eyed and bushy tailed Sunday morning and hit the ground running as Tim described it. I was a cleaning machine (side note: the sellers claimed to have had the house cleaned before they moved out, but if it was cleaned I'm rock star). My friends, Jean and Stacie, came by to see the new house and we all went to Tim's favorite new spot, Llewellyn's Irish Pub, to watch the Chiefs play. (OMG! They actually won.)

WARNING: Might gross you out

Well, about 5:30am Monday it was like the bowels of hell came roaring through my body and out my mouth. I literally filled the toilet bowl. The shear force was enough to send splatter flying and land on the walls, the toilet brush, the floor and all parts of the toilet. GROSS!!! I know. Guess who got to clean it up? Yep, ME! I'm kneeling there, my complete insides floating in the toilet and Tim THEN decides to get out of bed to see how I'm doing and turns to head back to bed. HELLO! I stop him before he gets too far and ask for the Lysol wipes. You'd think it was 2am by apparent gravitational pull the bed had on him. At least Lulu was there right beside me making sure I was OK the whole time. Sweet little girl. She's barely left my side this whole week.

I shouldn't have, but I did. I went to the dentist at 8a and then to work. My sister-in-law was none too thrilled that I showed up to get my teeth cleaned, but I had brushed 6 times after hell came rushing out of my body and I didn't feel too bad. By 9:30a I was feeling pretty bad again. This time however; things came out the other end. Yep! Can we say, LOADS OF FUN. I left work at noon, went home and slept. I didn't have much to eat except some crackers, OJ, Sierra Mist and a tiny piece of pie I didn't get Saturday night. Went to work on Tuesday feeling pretty good then I ate lunch. Big mistake. Seriously, I should have set up shop on the pot because that is where I spent most of my time Tuesday and Wednesday. Wednesday night I was pretty hungry yet hesitant, but threw caution to the wind because Tim had gotten me some medicine. That medicine will from here on out be known as THE MAGIC PILL. I ate my two grilled cheese sandwiches with my glass of milk then downed the magic pill. 11 straight hours of toilet freedom. This morning Ms Butt met a different Mr Toilet, but I've made it to work, had my pint of chocolate milk, nutrigrain bar and my magic pill, so far so good. The next test....lunch.

Sorry for the disgusting nature of this post, but I truly hope your Thanksgiving was great and that you didn't have to suffer through what I am.

***Update: It's been two hours since I finished lunch and I've hit the head 4 times. Looking back it just might have been a mistake to get the Thai Chicken Salad.