More

OK, so I've learned some more things about the adoption process that SUCK. People who are after me on the list have been asked to put their paperwork together. Why? Because 1) they have requested a wider age range or older child 2) they are requesting special needs or a child with some special needs. As I've said before most of the referrals that have been coming in have been for older children or kids with special needs of some sort, so those of us that are requesting younger healthy children are SOL, in my opinion. Again, I am happy that the older kids and kids with special needs are getting adopted, but had I known that my agency would be "specializing" in older and special needs kids I would have chosen another.

I also found out that the DIA (Dept. of Internat'l Adoption) does NOT match us with a child like I thought. It is the orphanages that "distribute," if you will, the children they are responsible for to the particular agencies that they work with. Now this seems a little odd to me and possibly (or most definitely) shady. It is not unheard of for some agencies to pay off the orphanages for referrals or mothers for their babies and that is why USCIS has changed their policies recently. However, I do not think they have the man power, the resources or the authority to fully investigate any wrong doings at the orphanages or outside their walls. I still think these practices are going on just not exposed. I really think it is unfair, but what can we REALLY do? There are days that I wish I had gone with a less notable agency, but I thought being as reputable as they are, with the praises of the DIA and other officials last July that things would look up. I was wrong.

I've been trying to keep up with the chatter on my adoption yahoo group lately, God knows why, since it's totally depressing, but one poster said that her family had moved up 7 spots on the list in one week. I find that odd since there has been only 1 referral in the last three weeks, but this poster said she was told several families dropped out due to the long waits, pregnancy and the fear that the MOU won't be resigned. Well, now I'm curious to see if that is truly the case, but I WILL NOT ask my number again until the end of February. I'm probably going to regret that. I did find out that in March we should find out whether the MOU is going to be signed on time or if there will be more negotiation needed thus prolonging the signing and increasing my wait and possibly the closure of adoptions to Vietnam. The latter doesn't seem to be a fear of my agency, but it worries me. I also don't like the idea of increased wait times which seem to be a possibility even if the MOU is signed on time. ARG!!! If it's not one thing it's another.

There were a few more referrals this past week. There was a sibling group (5 & 3 - healthy boys) which technically doesn't really do me any good, but I think the family that will be adopting them was asking for an infant either gender. I could be wrong and I will ask them if they were asking for older than 12 months, but from the chatter it seems they were preparing for a younger child. IF they were asking for 0-12 then that will move me up on that list. There was also a set of twin girls (3½ months) this week. I'm not sure if they were healthy or not since Nicky, the lady that gives the updates, has stopped defining the children. I keep asking. Maybe that is because CHI has stopped giving numbers based on specifics and just give main list numbers. On the main list I have now moved up 3 spots this year or maybe more with families dropping out. I also found out that CHI asked everyone on the list UP TO #92 to prepare their dossiers and anyone after that, up to 100, were asked based on their age and gender specification, so I could be closer or NOT. I loved the last line of Nicky's update, it said something like...we receive more referrals for boys than girls. I had to LAUGH OUT LOUD at that one since the last few referrals have been girls with the exception of the sibling boys.

How do I stay sane in all of this???????? GOOD QUESTION!!!!!!! I have NO IDEA. The last week I've been pretty emotional, a virtual roller coaster. It sucks there's no doubt about that and I wonder if all of this was even meant to be. I have thought several times of backing out of the whole thing, but then I feel as though I'd be giving up and I don't really want to do that. So, the frustrations get diverted to anything and everything in my life.

BRIGHT SIDE.....My good friend Peggy had a little boy on Friday, January 4, 2008. David joins mom, dad (Brian) and big sis (Allison-2). He was a big boy at 8+ pounds. I'm going to see him Saturday for the first time since I've been sick all week I didn't want to get the poor guy sick in his first week of life. Peggy would hate me. : ) I'm looking forward to that and I hope he likes what I got him. Maybe I'll take a picture of it before I give it to him and post it next week.

Have a good weekend. I'll be running, eating sushi, going to the piano bar and possibly swimming.